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From them I learned that every day cannot be a good day the secret is to control that which is within your control so that the good days outnumber the bad. In dealing with relationships with the opposite sex, my greatest teachers have always been my parents, my grandparents, and my in-laws. How much do you think the images posited by the various media affect the ways in which we deal with one another and live our lives? Now, let’s take a look at African American men and women in relation to the larger society and culture. How have these ripples caused by her hurt and anger affected others who have in turn affected others? How has this affected her views of the opposite sex and how she has dealt with the opposite sex? Remember the ripples caused when you throw a rock or some other object into the water. Had we met at a different time in our lives, who knows the possibilities? And if she had been a bit more honest as to what she was looking for, perhaps if she even knew what she was looking for, it would have saved a lot of hard feelings in the end.īut keep in mind, she has been walking around harboring these ill feelings for twenty years or so. It was unfair to her that I stayed as long as I did knowing that my idea of where the relationship was going did not coincide with hers.Īnd she was a very nice person, a very desirable mate. I should have decided to leave even earlier. And she pitched a fit-an absolute fit.īut I don’t blame her. So, I decided to just step away from the situation before either of us became overinvested in something that was not to be. Perhaps, I should have recognized the signs and walked away at this time, but I chose not to.Īs time went on, it became clearer and clearer that she was looking for a bit more than mere companionship she was looking for another husband. We both seemed to be on the same sheet of music, so we entered into an agreement of sorts.īut about a week into this thing, she had cleared drawer space and one side of the closet for me and presented me with a key to her apartment. She only wanted companionship, someone to kick it with and have a few laughs every now and then. During our initial meeting, she told me she was concerned only with raising her two sons. We met after we both had just gotten out of unhappy, tumultuous marriages. Of course, I was a puzzled as to why she was acting this way, but soon through clenched teeth, she gave me an answer.īut that was twenty years ago! What happened to time heals all wounds? Perhaps I should give you the back story. I went in for the obligatory hug, but she gave me the stiff arm. What I got from her was an angry, spiteful grimace. Thinking that perhaps she did not recognize me, I went over to greet her. But when I called to her, she just gave me this blank look and then turned her head.
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I was genuinely surprised and glad to see her. Recently when out and about, I ran into a lady I dated perhaps twenty years ago. There are still some obstacles to us being where we desire to be, namely we often find ourselves at different places at different times, and we are often not honest about what we are really looking for, but perhaps the biggest impediment is that we look outward as opposed to inward in defining how we conduct our lives and affair. However, there are still a number of issues we must deal with. Perhaps, the issues affecting black love seem more dire, more real because of our proximity to them, but no more dire or real than in the larger populous. In fact, I think black love is alive and well. But now having had time to sit and ponder the question for a bit, I can give a more well thought out answer.Īnd that answer is no, I don’t think we hate each other. I must admit that I hadn’t given it any thought before Von posed that question, and I’m not sure what answer I gave her. Do you think we hate each other?,” was the answer. “Do you think we really hate each other?”Ĭonfused, I quickly tweeted back, “Who?”. We were not that far into the conversation when she asked me what I thought to be a very strange question: She checked out my blog, and tweeted her approval, and then we entered into a conversation centered around issues pertinent to the African American community. Von blogs over at Black Conscious Thought. And you meet a lot of interesting people through Twitter. And I will be writing from my experience which may or may not coincide with your experience however, I am counting on you to fill in those blank spaces that may irrupt when my experience and knowledge break down and fail to adequately address the subject at hand. Let me preface the week by stating that I am not a counselor of any kind. I am going to devote the entire week to discussing a single subject-the relationship between black men and women. This week I am conducting an experiment of sorts. Welcome to relationship week here at soulbrother v.2.